Daly Focus Blog
Hopefully,
the silver lining for you around the coronavirus pandemic has been the
opportunity to spend more time together as a couple.
Then
again, maybe being around each other 24/7 has increased your disagreements and created
new topics to argue about.
There’s no
doubt that living in close quarters for a long time can reveal areas of your
marriage that could use some work. But it also creates an opportunity to put Luke
10:27 into practice.
I’m happy
to say that Focus on the Family has been ahead of the technology curve, which
has allowed most of our staff to work from home and continue to minister to
families. But just like you, our staff has had to navigate the uncertain waters
of balancing work and home.
That’s why
we invited popular guest Arlene Pellicane to join us on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Balancing Work and Family Life While Staying
at Home.” She’s got some
great ideas for dealing with what she calls a “blurred environment.” The
boundaries between work and family blur, which makes it harder to keep all the
plates spinning – to be a good spouse, a good parent, perhaps even a good son
or daughter to elderly parents.
This is a sad story – with a sweet and poignant twist.
As most of us slept peacefully on Tuesday night, Jon Coelho of Danbury, Connecticut, passed away from cardiac arrest, a condition attributed to the coronavirus.
He was just 32 years-old and left behind his wife, Katie, and 2 small children.
There’s a common saying that death always comes like a thief in the night, and never more so than when a younger person unexpectedly meets the end of their earthly life.
John Burke
was an agnostic. He didn’t know if there was a God or if the afterlife was real.
The closest he got to spirituality was believing that Jesus was a good teacher
whose life somehow became the stuff of legend and myth.
Then John’s
dad got cancer, and John began to wonder more deeply about life’s big
questions. During that time, someone gave his father a book of original
research that coined the term “near-death experience.” When John read people’s
stories about bright lights, tunnels, and strange visions, it set him on what
became a 35-year quest to examine those experiences more deeply.
Unlike recent NFL Drafts from such famed locales as New York City’s Radio City Music Hall, this year’s “virtual” iteration promises to be a more subdued affair. In the era of the coronavirus, there will be no traditional high fives or hugs – and no real stage with strobe lights and confetti.
Tonight’s annual extravaganza will be coming from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s basement – a space usually reserved for family time R&R.
Most analysts are expecting the Cincinnati Bengals to select Joe Burrow, last year’s Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback from Louisiana State University, with the first overall selection.
Except for hardcore fans, there’s usually only moderate interest outside the first or second round – but in thinking about the dynamics and drama surrounding the annual festivities, it’s struck me there’s some applicable marriage lessons to be found in the dynamics of the draft and sport itself.
The coronavirus pandemic has been very bad for many things – but it has given many parents – myself included – extra time to talk with their children.
Just the other day, I was chatting with one of our sons and a tender subject came up.
It involved the sudden and unexpected death of one of his friends. We’ve talked about it in the past and even prayed and grieved over it as a family, but we’ve probably never discussed it as deeply or as meaningfully as we did this time around.
With much
of the country weeks into a lockdown, calls to the National Mental Health
Hotline have increased by almost 900 percent.
The
uncertainty of these times is resulting in a steep rise in anxiety and
depression. For many, social distancing has turned into social isolation. Some
have turned away from people and toward food, alcohol, online shopping, and
pornography. Others are suffering from racing thoughts, sleepless nights, and irritability.
It becomes
a trap. When we’re anxious and fearful, we can’t concentrate, our creativity
and productivity go down, and it’s hard to see options.
Most of us
have spent a lot more time at home than we would have imagined possible a few
weeks ago. The good news is that we’ve gotten plenty of extra time in close
quarters to spend with our spouse.
The bad
news … is that we’ve gotten plenty of extra time in close quarters to spend
with our spouse!
When
people are thrown together in stressful situations, the good and the bad
eventually bubble to the surface.
Most
Americans have been on virtual lockdown since March. Everything from sports to
restaurants have been shut down for weeks. The one thing we haven’t lost is our
screens. Which means a lot of us have filled our days with video games and
online shopping while we binge on Netflix.
I get it.
This is a stressful time, and a little distraction is good for us. But spending
nearly every waking moment in front of a screen isn’t.
We’re
several weeks into the coronavirus outbreak, and by now you’ve memorized a
dozen methods for keeping your body’s immune system strong.
But what are
you doing to keep your marriage strong?
When we’re
stressed, we strike out at the people closest to us, namely our spouse and children.
That’s especially true when you’re cooped up together under quarantine. Good
marriages can be strained, and bad marriages can be stressed to their breaking
point.
A couple’s
differences can either serve as triggers for conflict or as points of tension that
can strengthen the relationship.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
