Daly Focus Blog
Does this formula remind you of your parenting style?
You probably recognize that from a math class somewhere in your past. It guarantees that every time you add A and B together, you get C. So, 3 + 2 always equals 5. Every time. It’s simple. It’s reliable.
It’s predictable.
Which is why formulas are the go-to parenting method for so many moms and dads. And many don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Here’s the test.
“Why can’t they get their shoes on and get in the car?”
“Why do they always get out of bed at bedtime?”
“Why can’t they just do what they’re supposed to do?”
Do you ask yourself questions about your children like that? Do you get frustrated for not handling daily challenges as well as you’d like?
We’ve got help for moms who struggle to respond in a productive manner when their kids misbehave – moms who promised themselves that they would never yell at their children or speak to them harshly.
Earlier this month, the city of Chicago made headlines when 74 people were shot in a single weekend in numerous incidents and neighborhoods. As of today, 12 of those wounded have died.
Sadly, rampant crime in the Windy City is not a new phenomenon. During the July 4th holiday weekend in 2017, 101 people were shot, 14 of whom died.
For years, liberal commentators have been attributing the rise in violence to guns – or easy access to them, inadequate laws, insufficient government spending, drugs and the proliferation of gangs.
It wasn’t the first time that Karis Kimmel Murray was confronted with how to discipline her young daughter, Riley, properly, but it was one of the more memorable.
At the end of a shopping trip at Walmart, Karis stopped by the shoe aisle for a new pair of flip-flops. Her daughter decided she’d sat patiently in the cart long enough. Karis allowed Riley down, but Riley didn’t just want out of the cart, she wanted out of the store … and Karis stood between her and that goal.
Dr. Kevin Leman humorously says of children, “We have seen the enemy, and they are small. They’re unionized. The ‘ankle-biter battalion’ is on the move, so you better have a game plan.”
I’m sure many parents would heartily agree with that assessment. To that end, Dr. Leman is with us on our program “Game Plan for Raising Well-Behaved Children” to share a wealth of practical tips that can bring order to the chaos in your home more quickly than you might think possible.
Parents often discipline in terms of behavior modification:
“No backtalk.”
“Say please and thank you.”
“Stop picking on your brother” (with two boys, Jean and I have said that one a lot over the years).
“Put away your backpack.”
Outward behavior is an important part of raising children of character. But it’s only one side of the coin. The other is developing their inner motivation.
The root word of discipline is “disciple.” As disciples of Christ, we follow His teachings outwardly because our hearts are being transformed from within.
It’s been said it’s “easier to build a boy than to mend a man.” I agree. So how do we build the next generation of boys into men?
John Wooden was the men’s basketball coach at UCLA for nearly thirty years and is widely recognized as one of the greatest coaches in the history of the game. The dominance of his teams remains unprecedented into the modern era.
Surprisingly, though, his lessons on the court had more to do with being a man than with basketball.
Does this visual remind you of your parenting style?
You probably recognize that formula from a math class somewhere in your past. It guarantees that every time you add A and B together, you get C. So 2 + 2 always equals 4, and 1 + 5 always gives you 6. Every time. It’s simple. It’s reliable. It’s predictable.
That certainty is why formulas are the go-to parenting method for so many moms and dads.
If your teenage son or daughter forgot something they needed for school, would you bring it to them?
Well, if your child attends a Catholic High School for Boys in Little Rock, Arkansas, you can forget it.
When the school’s administrators posted a picture of a sign that’s taped to a door in their building, they probably didn’t expect it to go viral – but it did.
Here it is:
It reads, “If you are dropping off your son’s forgotten lunch, books, homework, equipment, etc., please TURN AROUND and exit the building.
Teaching kids to be respectful isn’t always easy. Just when you think they’ve learned how they should behave in certain settings, they throw it all right out the window.
I’ll never forget the time my older son, Trent, did that. He was just a little guy at the time, maybe 4 or 5. I was out of town when my wife, Jean, called me almost in tears over Trent’s behavior. He had thrown a world class fit in the grocery line over a candy bar and refused to calm down.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
