Daly Focus Blog
Author Dannah Gresh says one of the most common fears mothers share with her is, “Am I messing up my kids?”
Her answer: Yes.
That may not seem like a very encouraging response, but if you’re struggling as a parent, you need peace. And to get peace, you need truth. And the truth is, every parent – myself included – is in the same boat.
We’re imperfect people raising imperfect people.
But if that’s true, how do moms learn to trust God with their parenting and with their children?
There’s a buzzword in pop culture that’s supposed to reveal the secret to a happy marriage.
“Chemistry.”
Successful relationships, we’re told, ultimately boil down to two people sharing common interests.
Obviously, the more points of agreement between a husband and wife, the better. But in God’s economy, the secret to a thriving marriage isn’t in a couple’s similarities, but in how they handle their differences.
God designed marriage to bring together two unique individuals into a sacred union where they “become one.” That requires a lot of hard work, selflessness, and a commitment to love your spouse through the good and the ugly.
It’s a moving story of how God brought a father and son together through tragic circumstances.
It all started when Officer Jody Thompson responded to a dispatch about a physical child abuse case two years ago, CBS News reports.
When he arrived at the scene, Officer Thompson saw something he’d never forget.
A boy, John, was covered in bruises and abrasions from head to toe. He was severely underweight. His wrists were bound by belts, and he had been submerged in a trash can full of cold water.
Are you a clam or a crowbar?
That’s an analogy Dr. David Clarke uses to help husbands and wives understand how their poor communication skills have landed them in his counseling office.
In almost every marriage, there’s a clam. The percentages suggest it’s usually men, but it can be women, too.
In either case, clams are the ones who don’t naturally talk on an emotionally deep level. They clam up. But every time they do, their spouses break out a crowbar to pry them open.
“I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.”
Quick. Who said that?
If you don’t know the answer, here’s a clue: He was an American Patriot who said those words at the age of twenty-one just before he was hanged.
Still no guesses?
Don’t feel bad. You’re not alone. That kind of rich history hasn’t been taught very well for decades. It’s alarming, frankly.
Knowing and understanding our history is much more important than memorizing a sea of dates and names.
I like being busy and working hard. God gave us work for our benefit. It’s meant to enrich our lives while we’re providing for our families.
But too much of a good thing ain’t so good. If you’re not careful, you can miss the joys of life along the way.
Several years ago, when my now teenage boys were just little guys, I had an encounter with Trent and Troy that has become a cherished memory.
Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs were married for ten years … the first time.
Their life together started perfectly. They moved to Los Angeles in their mid-twenties and were living the California lifestyle. They were successful at their jobs, they made a lot of money, and they even had an ocean-front home with all of the right stuff to fill it.
But for Cheryl, marriage was empty.
She thought the lack of intimacy between her and Jeff would eventually correct itself.
I used to believe there was such a thing as perfect families. It started with The Brady Bunch. Mike and Carol were loving parents, the kids always seemed happy, and the family’s problems were not only minimal but easy to solve.
As I grew older, I wondered if everybody else around me had a perfect family, too. That’s how they all looked from the outside, anyway.
I’ve been ministering to families for nearly three decades, and I can tell you that a lot of parents feel intense pressure to be perfect.
One day, well into her adult years, Florence Littauer’s dad invited her into a tiny back room of the little store he had operated for decades. Against one wall was an upright piano. Her dad reached behind it and pulled an old cigar box from its hiding place.
Inside were articles he had published in the local paper. Florence was surprised. She had no idea her father was a writer. He’d never discovered his true potential because no one had ever encouraged him.
I wake up every day with a desire to serve the Lord. I want other people to see Christ in me when I’m confronted with challenges. I want them to say, “Wow! I would’ve reacted entirely differently in that situation. What do you have that I don’t?”
But then someone cuts me off in traffic.
…Or my boys don’t behave the way I’ve told them to a dozen times.
…Or I’m exhausted after a long flight and an unexpected delay complicates my plans.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
