Daly Focus Blog
Are you where you’d thought you’d be at this point in your life? If not, take heart. The best may be yet to come.
Many reach their thirties, forties, or fifties, disheartened that they haven’t accomplished more. Some even fear that they’ve wasted too much time and will never achieve anything worthwhile. I say, no matter your age, don’t give up. Now may be the perfect time to move forward. Many notable figures achieved their greatest work late in life.
A friend of mine once dialed a wrong phone number and reached an elderly woman, who said, “I live alone and don’t have anyone to talk to. Can we chat for a few minutes?” My friend agreed, and they had a lovely conversation.
That woman was not unique. In the wake of COVID, nearly half of Americans say they struggle with feelings of isolation. Loneliness takes an enormous psychological, physical, and financial toll on millions of people.
Successful marriages don’t thrive because of so-called “chemistry,” good luck, or wishful thinking. They thrive because the couple sacrifice their own interests for the sake of each other.
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Embracing Your Role as a Spouse,” our guest, author Kevin Thompson, describes three roles of a spouse:
As friends, spouses play and laugh together.
As partners, spouses handle conflict and communicate well.
As lovers, spouses put sizzle into their relationship.
When my son, Trent, was a teenager, I asked him to rake pine needles out of a rock bed in the front yard. He did a good job, but a couple of times I had to urge him to give a little more effort. Trent often declared a task “good enough” a bit too soon.
My younger son, Troy, faced a different problem. He was so meticulous, he might have kept on raking pine needles until he’d picked up every last one in the neighborhood.
In 2006, Charles Roberts entered the one-room schoolhouse of a Pennsylvania Amish community, took a dozen girls hostage, then shot ten of them, killing five before taking his own life.
Days after the shooting, something profound happened. The grandfather of one of the murdered girls stood up at her funeral and urged the congregation to have mercy. “Instead of choosing hate,” he said, “forgive.”
And they did.
Although heartbroken, the people responded to their tragic circumstances with grace.
Many couples who enter a second marriage naïvely believe their new stepfamily will bond quickly and fix everyone’s loneliness and loss. When some problems get worse instead, questions and doubts arise until the couple reaches a crossroads: do we hang on? Or do we give up and quit?
How does a new family find its identity?
We’re answering that question on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “When Lives Collide: Navigating Remarriage and Stepfamily.” Our guest is author and speaker Sabrina Beasley McDonald.
One of the most frequently asked questions in a crisis is, “Where is God when we suffer?” I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I’d offer this thought: God doesn’t abandon us in our suffering. He’s present with us in it.
Nothing feels more lonely or more isolating than pain. Which is why when we’re hurting, God reaches out to us through people. We don’t have to search for Him in the clouds or hope a divine apparition appears.
We talk a lot about biblical wisdom here at Focus on the Family. The reason is because more than any other factor God’s wisdom is critical to the success of a marriage, a household or a culture. Without His wisdom to guide us, poor, even destructive choices, are sure to follow.
Consider this: at the height of the #MeToo movement, The New York Times reported that 201 powerful men had been exposed for their mistreatment of women.
Fourteen-year-old Connor Halsa from Minnesota caught more than fish on his summer vacation last year. He and his family were enjoying a sunny day on the lake when he reeled in a wallet that contained $2,000 in cash. And yet, even as Connor spread out the money on a rock to dry, not once did visions of a new bike or gaming system dance through his mind. That wallet belonged to someone, and Connor intended to find out who and return it to him.
One of my boys is strong-willed. Over the years, Jean and I have joked that we were raising a lawyer-in-training. He could find a loophole in anything.
Once, Jean hosted a women’s tea and set out chocolates in the living room. She later discovered half the bowl was gone. When she asked our son if he’d eaten all the chocolates, he responded, “No,” without hesitation.
“You didn’t eat the chocolates?”
“Oh, I ate some of them.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
