Daly Focus Blog
Author Gary Thomas thought he had a good marriage. Then God reminded him of the pledge he made to his wife at their wedding: “I promise to love and cherish you until death do us part.” Thirty-six years later, Gary realized that he hadn’t thought of the word “cherish” in terms of his marriage since the day he spoke the vows.
Determined to change course, Gary set out to understand what it really meant to cherish his wife.
God calls many women to positions of leadership and influence. That’s a gift to any community because women are often more collaborative, participative and inclusive than their male counterparts.
If God has led you into leadership, I encourage you to listen to my conversation with author Deborah Pegues on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Deborah spent many years leading in the corporate world. She’s a CPA, a certified behavioral consultant, a Bible teacher, and an international speaker.
Some people believe the definition of marriage should be anything we want it to be. No exclusions. No boundaries.
The problem with that idea is the fabric of reality itself. Marriage was created to function within a particular design because it’s powerful – so powerful that we need guardrails to channel its influence.
To understand what I mean, consider the design of electrical cords on most of the lamps, TVs, and small appliances in your home.
Jack Canfield, the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, says comparing yourself to other people is a “fast track to unhappiness.” Comparison distorts our vision. One moment, we see all that we have – the next, we see all that we wish we had.
When our focus is directed outward, we think everybody else has more money, better homes, and nicer cars. We think they’re smarter, more talented, and better looking – or they have happier marriages and better-adjusted children.
When Jean and I were dating, I made a big mistake. I served her tea.
That may not sound like such a big deal to you, but I was wooing this girl. I wanted to marry her. On this particular occasion, however, everything nearly fell apart. I went all out. I packed a full picnic lunch, complete with a basket full of food, a blanket to sit on, and iced tea. I thought everything was perfect.
And it would have been, except she doesn’t like iced tea.
When my boys learned how to drive, I don’t mind saying I was nervous about it. I knew they’d do fine, but my wife, Jean and I talked through our expectations before we ever handed over a set of keys. From one parent to another, here are a few things that might make sense to you, too.
Teens usually think their driver’s license is all the permission they need to hit the road. But driving ought to be a privilege they earn instead of an absolute right.
Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned roller coaster?
Richard Rodriguez probably. He holds the world record for riding a roller coaster for an astonishing 112 days. Everybody who’s attempted that record will tell you it’s an achievement of endurance, not enjoyment. A roller coaster’s wild dips and corkscrews – designed to create excitement – all lose their thrill when you’re subjected to them over and over and over again.
An endless roller coaster ride isn’t much fun when it’s a marriage, either.
“Governing in a representative democracy is always challenging, and especially in a deeply divided nation. I extend my congratulations to Mike Johnson on his re-election as Speaker of the House of Representatives. As Christians, we’re called to pray for all our leaders (Romans 13:1-2). Strong leadership will provide America with our best opportunity to live “peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness” (1 Tim. 2:2). Please join me in lifting up Speaker Johnson, his family, and all the members of the newly minted 119th Congress.”
– Jim Daly, president, Focus on the Family
My advice to married couples is this: pursue romance every chance you get. Take sunset walks on the beach. Eat dinner by candlelight. Kiss in the rain. Enjoy beautiful moments together that lift your relationship beyond itself.
Authors Jay and Laura Laffoon encourage couples to try new things as often as possible. New experiences allow couples to grow as individuals and together. Even small things like trying a new restaurant create little adventures that draw a couple together.
There’s a concept motivational speakers talk about called “failing forward.” It’s all about turning your mistakes into success. One of the best ways to instill that idea into your children is to give them permission to fail.
When my son Troy turned 12, he gave Little League a try. He was nervous. So was I. He had never played baseball before while the other kids had been at it four or five years already. I wondered how long it would be after Troy took the field for his inexperience to show through.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
