Daly Focus Blog
Do you ever wish you could get a second chance at something after your first attempt missed the mark?
In the world of golf, taking a second shot from same spot is called a “taking a mulligan.” There are several theories regarding the origin of the term, but most go back to the 1920s and a gentleman named David Mulligan who was known to embrace do-overs on the links at his country club in Montreal.
As a golfer, I can appreciate the temptation.
According to feminist author Jill Filipovic, stay-at-home-moms are responsible for producing and encouraging the very worst of men. They’re also a drag on society and doing more harm than good to themselves, too.
In a series of tweets earlier this week, the controversial writer wrote:
“More mothers at home makes for worse, more sexist men who see women as mommies and helpmeets. Men with stay-at-home wives are more sexist than men with working wives; they don’t assess women’s workplace contributions [fairly]; and they are less likely to hire and promote women.”
Ms.
Dads matter – and more than most people realize.
That’s the message I’ve been championing for years now, a reality born out of the social science and my own childhood growing up in a broken home.
The Florida legislature and Governor Ron DeSantis agree – which is why the state has just approved a bill that will invest $70 million in programs designed to promote fatherhood.
It’s called the “Responsible Fatherhood Bill,” and funds will be distributed to nonprofit groups committed to dads.
Traditional marriage vows say, “For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.”
When Jean and I got married, we assumed that life would mostly be “better, richer, and healthier.” While life with each other has been wonderful, we’ve encountered challenges along the way.
That should come as no surprise. Every marriage passes through some kind of relational storm: in-law issues, financial conflict, baggage from the past. The possibilities are endless.
Jean and I have taught our boys all their lives that they won’t discover their worth in athletic abilities, academics, popularity, or anything external. Their value comes from being a child of the eternal God!
Adults need this reminder, too. It’s just as easy for us to look for security in things outside of God – a job title, a new car, a nice home, even certain relationships. It’s not always easy to break free from our pursuit of external validation and find our rest in Christ (Matthew 11:28).
Married couples are designed for intimacy. Yet, like Adam and Eve in the garden, they often hide from God and each other.
Some couples pretend their relationship is healthier than it is because it feels safer than risking exposure and shame. Hiding feels safer in the moment.
But long-term, it has the opposite effect. Instead of feeling more loved, we feel more lost. Instead of feeling more accepted, we feel more alone.
What’s a good way for couples to break out of isolation and connect with each other?
As we eagerly await the Supreme Court’s decision in the Mississippi 15-week heartbeat case, activists around the country have been working feverishly with liberal state legislatures to enshrine unfettered access to abortion rights in their states.
I believe it’s a harbinger of the fight to come – and compared to what we’ve seen the last half-century, it’ll be a battle unlike any in the last fifty years.
Activists in my own state of Colorado have just pulled off a devastating legislative victory by passing the most radical abortion bill in the country.
Some relationships are naturally sources of conflict.
Whether it’s a spouse, a family member, a friend, a coworker, or even someone at church, we all have that one person who rubs us the wrong way.
The question is, how should we address conflict with that person?
Perhaps we don’t. Maybe we pretend that the conflict doesn’t exist. Or we refuse to talk about it. Or we verbally or emotionally attack the other person.
There’s a better way.
Lucille Williams was washing vomit out of her clothes when a thought occurred to her: “This is marriage.”
She was on the last night of her honeymoon cruise with her husband, Mike, and they were enjoying a final dinner with new friends they’d made that week. Suddenly, an unexpected bout of sea sickness hit Mike, and he began vomiting uncontrollably. Their dinner guests scrambled out of the way, but it was too late for Lucille, who ended up with Mike’s disgusting mess splashed all over her.
When you hear the term “controlling spouse,” you might picture the stereotypical angry husband who barks orders and intimidates his wife through verbal and physical abuse.
Although some men control like that, some control more subtly. They’re not malicious and may not even be aware how their behavior is affecting their family.
Either way, the result is the same: the spouse feels frustrated, powerless, and alone in marriage. Even in loving, Christian relationships, manipulation, anxiety, and fear can lead to unhealthy forms of control between a husband and wife.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
