Daly Focus Blog
Many marriages are like the community of Beebe Plain, Vermont. They’re divided.
The international border between Canada and the United States runs right down the middle of Beebe Plain, Vermont. It splits the main road through town in half. It also cuts right through the middle of a building on the east side of town called the Haskell Free Library and Opera House. Inside, there’s even a black line painted on the floor that marks where one country ends and another begins.
Do you ever wonder:
Is there a Creator?
If God is real, why do people suffer?
What does Easter have to do with the existence of God?
If God exists, why does He seem hidden or distant?
Can we deduce anything about God from scientific evidence?
Does our DNA reveal anything about God as a designer?
Can God be personally experienced?
On Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I’m talking with former atheist, Lee Strobel.
Merry Christmas!
On Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I’m celebrating the holiday in a unique way. Here are few hints. Think:
Long beards.
Duck hunting.
Camouflage outfits.
The backwoods of Louisiana.
Delicious Cajun recipes.
That’s right. I’m exploring the joys of family and faith and reflecting on what Christmas is all about with Phil and “Miss Kay” Robertson of the Duck Dynasty clan.
They share fun stories – like:
How to cook a squirrel.
Driving is a great illustration for life.
First, what makes driving safe? That line painted down the middle of the road. It’s a boundary that tells you what lane is yours and what lane is mine.
Second, in driving and in life, we encounter people and circumstances everywhere we go that force us to respond quickly and make good decisions.
And third, to get to where we want to go, we must be in the correct lane.
Almost everything moves at the speed of light these days. A hundred years ago a handwritten note from New York to London took four weeks. Today, we can send digital content around the world in fractions of a second. We can even order just about anything from our living room couch and have it delivered to our front door overnight.
We’re so accustomed to immediate results that we expect it in our parenting as well. Our children make a mistake, we correct them once, then we expect an immediate and permanent change in their behavior.
Love songs and Hallmark movies paint a lovely image of intimacy. Love is easy. Just find the right person, and you’ll never struggle. You’ll always feel positive about your marriage and your spouse.
But real life usually takes more work than that. Which is where problems in a marriage often develop. Words like “commitment” and “action” sound like intimacy killers, not something that sparks it to life.
So, what does intimacy in marriage look like anyway?
One of the most exciting programs at Focus on the Family is our Hope Restored marriage intensives. For couples struggling in marriage, even those on the brink of divorce, Hope Restored goes a long way toward facilitating healing and bringing restoration to a broken relationship.
Just one example is Sadie and Bill. Bill’s marriage betrayal was so significant that Sadie held out little hope that their relationship could be saved. During their intensive counseling, Bill embraced his need for change and dug in to his relationship with the Lord.
What do you remember most about last Christmas?
How about Christmas ten years ago?
I’m sure a gift or two comes to mind, but I’ll bet family is what you remember most. I remember my boys Trent and Troy jumping into our bed Christmas mornings before the sun even came up. They had patiently waited for December 25th, now it was time to get things going. Jean and I would grab some coffee and watch the boys disappear behind a tornado of wrapping paper and excitement.
Most of us like predictability in life – things we can count on. But then Christmas comes along and reminds us that life is full of surprises.
My boys, Trent and Troy, are grown now. Which is probably why they decided it was time to reveal a Christmas secret they’d been hiding. For years at Christmas Eve, they sneaked downstairs and unwrapped their presents. After seeing what they got, they carefully rewrapped each gift and went back to bed, stifling excited whispers.
As the old saying goes, “You can choose your friends, but not your family.”
You discover how true that is during the holidays. Spending time with family members who see the world differently than you do can be stressful. To fill this season with joy and peace instead of frustration and conflict, here are a few ideas to keep in mind:
First, try these three magical words: “Tell me more.” Conflicts are less likely to escalate when people feel heard.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
