Daly Focus Blog
Relationships are the most rewarding experiences this side of heaven, but they also present a challenge. How do you restore peace and harmony to a relationship that’s struggling?
Boundaries.
God himself demonstrated why and how to create boundaries. In the Garden of Eden, He told Adam and Eve: Don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:17). That one boundary communicated four important ideas about relationships:
Boundaries define and protect freedom.
Many women feel overwhelmed. They’re busy from morning until night yet still don’t seem to have enough time for important things like devotions, exercise, friendships, sleep, or quality time with their families.
My wife, Jean, did a great job of keeping our family and household in order during our parenting years. But some days the strain she was under was tough. Like the evening I came home from work and Jean met me at the door.
My wife, Jean, loves decorating for Christmas. If you step into our garage, you’ll notice an assortment of nearly 30 boxes and plastic bins in the rafters. They’re filled with all of the Christmas decorations we’ve accumulated over the decades. I pull everything down and haul it into the house, so Jean can do her thing. I love how beautiful our home looks when she’s done.
One year, I offered to help her. For an hour, I hung icicles on the tree and talked to her while she set up our snow village.
The ancient Stoic philosophers often employed an exercise known as “premeditatio malorum” – or the premeditation of evils. In short, they would conjure up in their minds how bad things could happen to them and then do the exact opposite, believing good things would inevitably and invariably come from such activity.
Today, we call this practice the “Law of Inversion” – and it can be equally effective when pondering how best to help our children and teens grow into responsible and successful adults.
This practice recently came to mind thanks to my friend, Holly, who has been teaching at a Christian college for more than two decades.
It’s that time of year again: time to think about what to get your children for Christmas. The pressure is real. Every year, retailers and toy and tech companies offer up a never-ending buffet of games and gadgets. There’s a lot to choose from, and some of it will lose its sparkle by New Year’s Day.
Before you stress out, I’ve got a great gift idea, one that I promise your children will love. It’s you.
Years ago, during my sophomore year at Cal State San Bernardino, I found myself in a difficult situation at Christmas break. I had nowhere to go. Both of my parents had died, and I wasn’t able to stay with my siblings or friends. I had to request special permission to spend the holiday on the deserted campus. For two weeks, my friends enjoyed roaring fireplaces and dinner tables full of turkey, ham, and all the trimmings.
Most couples are madly in love on their wedding day. They’re infatuated, passionate, and convinced they’ll always feel this way.
Over time, however, the sizzle begins to fizzle. There’s the first big argument, then little annoyances creep into the relationship, and the couple soon gets caught up in the daily grind of life. Before long, one spouse or the other begins to wonder, “Is this all there is to our marriage? Where did our love go?”
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “How to Stay Crazy in Love with Your Spouse,” my colleagues Greg and Erin Smalley are with us to inspire couples to build a lifelong, loving relationship utilizing “love secrets”:
True love commits
True love seeks God
True love fights for peace
True love honors
True love needs time to grow
True love embraces
True love endures
We’re discussing what true love looks like and how married couples can express that love to each other in meaningful and godly ways throughout their lifetime.
Young girls seem to be maturing physically earlier than past generations. In fact, some counselors warn that if you haven’t discussed puberty and sexual development with your child by age 8 or 9, somebody else likely already has.
If that’s alarming to you, tune in to our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Guiding Your Daughter into Womanhood.” We’re equipping moms to prepare for and effectively discuss with their daughter all the physical, emotional, and spiritual developments that come with puberty – that important stage in a child’s life where the body begins to change in significant ways.
Are you ready to take on the ultimate holiday movie challenge? It’s easy and, best of all, it will bring you together as a family. Here it is. Between now and Christmas, sit down together as a family and watch as many Christmas movies as you can.
I don’t usually recommend families spend more time in front of a screen, but I’ll happily make an exception in this case. The Christmas season is a wonderful time of year for families to reconnect.
A Colorado rancher once shared an insight with me that illustrates the balance between discipline and love in parenting. He said he employed two strategies for guiding his cattle to where he wanted them on his ranch. The first was a well. Cattle roam miles of grassland when they’re grazing, but they usually stay close to their water source. The second strategy was barbed wire. The barbs produce just enough discomfort to deter cattle from pushing beyond the boundary.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
