Daly Focus Blog
What is it that God wants out of our marriages?
Do we think about that? We know what we want out of our marriage, and we know what we expect our spouse to provide us. But what does God want?
Well, much of what God wants for you is wired in to you. A woman’s deepest need is to know that her husband loves her. A man’s deepest need is to know that his wife respects him.
God has given married couples a wedding present.
Sex.
The Lord designed physical intimacy to be enjoyed by both husbands and wives. First Corinthians 7 tells us that sex is rooted in mutuality. Husbands are to be sensitive to their wives’ needs, and wives are to be sensitive to their husbands’ needs. Marriage is about serving one another, not demanding your own rights.
Sadly, we live in a broken world that undermines God’s sacred designs. Secular culture portrays sex as primarily for the man.
Valentine’s Day marks the culmination of National Marriage Week here in the United States. Conceived as a “collaborative campaign to strengthen individual marriages, reduce the divorce rate, and build a culture that fosters strong marriages,” the effort mirrors the ongoing daily work of our ministry.
The traditions surrounding Valentine’s Day may frustrate some, but I’ve always enjoyed them. Jean has been my Valentine for three-plus decades now, and I consider her a gift.
For my fellow male readers, I’m going to assume you’ve already taken care of the cards, the flowers and chocolates.
Marriage is central to what we do here at Focus on the Family.
We believe that marriage is the foundation of the family. We also believe that God’s design for marriage is a relationship where both husband and wife are committed to loving and caring for one another for a lifetime.
The problem is, men and women are selfish creatures, and their selfishness comes out in all kinds of unhealthy ways. One of the most devastating aberrations is an affair.
What’s your favorite song?
The reason it’s your favorite is probably because you enjoy the vocals of the lead singer. But perhaps more than you think about, you also enjoy the song because of a cast of characters who some would say are just as important as the lead: the backing singers.
Their chorus of voices harmonize with the lead and give the song a beauty, richness, and texture the main vocalist could never achieve alone.
Julie and Clay’s first baby was due any time. To celebrate and to enjoy one last date night – at least for a while – Julie planned a romantic dinner at their favorite restaurant.
That evening, Julie arrived before Clay, and waited.
And waited.
He was supposed to come there straight from work, but twenty minutes passed and still no Clay. She called his phone. No answer.
Thirty minutes passed.
Then an hour.
Clay and Julie lost their reservation, and Julie’s expectations for the night were ruined.
“…to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
A lot of us recited similar vows at our wedding, but no sooner did we walk the gauntlet of flying rice than the word “cherish” began fading from our vocabulary. We didn’t mean for it to happen. The years went by, we settled into our lives, and we woke up one day with a marriage that was missing something deeper, more satisfying.
Visible light is perceived as only one color, but shine it through a prism, and you discover it’s actually a whole rainbow.
Are you a clam or a crowbar?
That’s an analogy Dr. David Clarke uses to help husbands and wives understand how their poor communication skills have landed them in his counseling office.
In almost every marriage, there’s a clam. The percentages suggest it’s usually men, but it can be women, too.
In either case, clams are the ones who don’t naturally talk on an emotionally deep level. They clam up. But every time they do, their spouses break out a crowbar to pry them open.
Today’s broadcast has me thinking a lot about one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It reminds me of how I ought to conduct myself in the name of Christ. In Romans 2:4, Paul tells us that it’s “God’s kindness that leads us to repentance.”
Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit – an expression of God’s nature through us – and one of the most powerful tools for Christians who wish to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the world around them.
Fire can cook you a nice steak, or it can burn your house to the ground. The difference lies in how well you harness its power.
It’s the same with a strong-will. There is a lot of good that comes from having what LeRoy and Kimberly Wagner describe as a “fierce” personality. But a strong-will gone wild can wreak havoc in a person’s life.
Fierce doesn’t have to mean obnoxious, loud, or rude. A fierce woman can be strong and beautiful.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
