Daly Focus Blog
My son Troy’s love language is physical touch. When he was younger, he was the first one to run into my arms when I got home each night. Even now as a teenager, he loves when I give him a big bear hug.
My older son, Trent, is more introverted and cerebral. I’ve asked him if he’s okay with hugs, and he says yes, but sometimes he stands so rigid he’s like hugging a pole. I have to remind him to use his arms.
By the time kids enter middle school, their march toward independence is well under way.
But let’s face it – it can be a confusing time for parents.
When a child spreads his wings, it can feel like he’s turning his back on you instead. But that’s not really the case. Your middle schooler needs you as much as he always has.
In some ways, more.
He just needs you in a different way than he did in his formative years.
On my first day of kindergarten, I refused to go. My mom had to drag me down the block to the school.
But something magical happened that first morning – and her name was Mrs. Smith, my kindergarten teacher. I had an immediate crush on her. In fact, I was so smitten, I didn’t want to leave that afternoon. So just like my mother had to drag me to school, my teacher had to drag me home.
If you’re a parent, you may feel like you’ve got everything under control most days. But every now and then, something unexpected happens and nothing goes right with your kids. If that’s been your experience, we’ve got some great encouragement for you today on the Focus on the Family Broadcast.
That sense of frustration and of wondering, “What do we do now?” is something Jean and I have experienced many times with our boys.
Parenting is filled with surprises for most of us, and it’s often a lot harder than we expected.
Is your child a rosebush?
A palm tree?
A pine?
How about a boxwood?
God wires our children with unique personality types. The nuances can be quite diverse, but they’re also finite to the point where a model of four personality types can explain them.
There’s power in personality. It’s a window into a child’s soul that parents can look through to see their hearts and to know how to lead them forward through life.
Hettie Britz is an author, a speaker, and one of the foremost voices in parenting advice from a biblical perspective in South Africa.
The controversy at the southern border continues to churn. Like many of you, I’ve been following its many twists and turns, straining to gather reliable information and, at times, struggling to separate the fact from the fiction. There is a lot of bad and biased information out there. To be sure, emotions are running high on both sides, a consequence of the very real human concern and the highly partisan nature of our times.
As I’ve previously indicated, separating children from their parents can be harmful and traumatic.
Why do kids misbehave?
Dr. Kevin Leman offers these 3 reasons:
Attention-getting
Power
Revenge
He says the strong-willed child has been given a bad rap. We want our kids to be strong-willed. When the world tells them, “Do everything we do,” we want our son or daughter to know right from wrong and to have the conviction to stand for it.
What you don’t want, Dr. Leman says, is the “powerful child.” They have an agenda.
Children are unique, but they also fall into some fairly predictable categories.
One child is a reliable, conscientious, perfectionistic, opinionated, list-maker who likes things done well. Another child is more rough and tumble, but loyal and hangs tough through thick and thin. Yet another child is outgoing, relational, charming, and can persuade others to listen to their opinions – a good negotiator.
On our broadcast today, Dr. Kevin Leman says you can almost predict according to birth order which child will fit those descriptions.
Do dads have to be perfect?
The answer to that question seems obvious: No.
But what if the answer is yes?
Nobody’s perfect, of course. We all fall short in word, thought, and deed every day. That’s why we need God’s grace.
But hold on. Even if the goal isn’t literal perfection, can’t every dad improve somewhere? This isn’t condemnation, this is a call for men to rise up and thrive as fathers. After all, being a dad is one of the most important jobs a man will ever have.
It wasn’t the first time that Karis Kimmel Murray was confronted with how to discipline her young daughter, Riley, properly, but it was one of the more memorable.
At the end of a shopping trip at Walmart, Karis stopped by the shoe aisle for a new pair of flip-flops. Her daughter decided she’d sat patiently in the cart long enough. Karis allowed Riley down, but Riley didn’t just want out of the cart, she wanted out of the store … and Karis stood between her and that goal.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
