Are you worried that your spouse isn’t your soul mate?

If so, let me encourage you with this: soul mates aren’t found, they’re formed.

Understanding that difference often separates couples who have a healthy, intimate relationship from those who divorce.

Juana Mikels and her husband, Terry, are proof of that. College sweethearts, they walked down the aisle believing the planets must have aligned for them to find each other. Not long into their marriage, however, it was as if the planets had fallen out of their orbits.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage August 27, 2020 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Many couples contact Focus on the Family because the intimacy in their marriage has faded. Their relationship is no longer deepening, and they’re growing apart instead of becoming one.

They feel like married roommates.

Drifting in marriage happens when couples stop making their relationship a priority. After the fun of dating and the wedding celebration, other things begin to distract husbands and wives from each other. Work, children, daily schedules, and household responsibilities become the topics of conversation, and spouses stop talking to one another about what they’re thinking and feeling.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage August 11, 2020 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

How big is your marriage’s joy gap?

Dr. Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey, authors of the book The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages, describe a “joy gap” as the length of time between moments of joy. If you apply that unit of measurement to your marriage, how long has it been?

Days?

Weeks?

Months?

The joy gap can be especially lengthy if we’re waiting for our circumstances to change, for our spouse to make us joyful, or for God to zap us with joy.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage August 3, 2020 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Not many people know how to pursue marriage with purpose.

For example, when you ask single men and women what they’re looking for in a spouse, many seem unprepared to answer that basic question. The most common responses generally have to do with physical attraction. And that’s not unimportant.

But couples who want a marriage that stands the test of time rise beyond that initial connection point. They keep deeper character traits top of mind, understanding that they’re in a relationship with a whole person, not just a body.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage July 27, 2020 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

The problem with living at a fast pace is that you never see the cracks in your life starting to form.

Bob and Audrey Meisner discovered that was true after they met and married in Bible college. They were passionate about their faith and wanted to change the world together.

Within a few years, they had three kids, were active in a national ministry, and pastored a thriving church. They attended marriage conferences, read books together, and were well-known in their community.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage June 30, 2020 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

People get married for a lot of reasons:

Companionship.Money.To feel appreciated.To have the wedding of their dreams.To feel loved.To be served … at least occasionally (of course, no one likes to admit this one).

Notice that all of those ideas have one thing in common: Each is about what my spouse can do for me, for my happiness.

Personal happiness is what the culture teaches us to seek from marriage, after all. Look at the marriage advice that’s out there.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage June 25, 2020 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

When was
the last time you and your spouse enjoyed a date night? Has it been a while?

I get it.
You’re busy. You’re tired. Once your children came along, your priorities shifted,
your schedule became less flexible, and your budget got a lot tighter. Before
you knew it, time together as a couple flew right out the window.

Finding
time for each other doesn’t get any easier as your children get older. You have
to schedule an evening, hire a babysitter, and find something interesting to
do.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage May 4, 2020 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura