Daly Focus Blog
As the old saying goes, “You can choose your friends, but not your family.”
You discover how true that is during the holidays. Spending time with family members who see the world differently than you do can be stressful. To fill this season with joy and peace instead of frustration and conflict, here are a few ideas to keep in mind:
First, try these three magical words: “Tell me more.” Conflicts are less likely to escalate when people feel heard.
I don’t know about you, but thoughts of heaven bring me great comfort!
I love the promise in Revelation 21:4: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
On Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, we’re taking a unique look at the God of heaven – the Creator of the universe and the Light and Lover of our souls – with John Burke.
Every December, you pledge to slow down at Christmas. And every December, the season rushes by in a blur.
You’re not alone. It’s tough to hit the brakes during the holidays. There are parties, decorations and a mountain of gifts to wrap. Is it any wonder we feel stressed out instead of relaxed and closer to God and our families?
I’ve learned a few things over the years that help me make the holidays as fun, meaningful and stress free as possible.
In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, we learn about Aslan, a great lion who rules Narnia. Susan, a little girl who stumbles into the enchanted world through a magic wardrobe, asks Mr. Beaver if Aslan is safe.
“Safe?” Mr. Beaver replies. “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King.”
God, whom Aslan symbolizes, isn’t safe, either. We never know when or how God will show up in our lives.
Thanksgiving is one of our nation’s most cherished traditions. Before America was even founded, the Pilgrims expressed gratitude to God for His many blessings – even when life was hard.
And life was hard. The Pilgrims’ voyage across the Atlantic Ocean took 65 days in cold, miserable conditions. Many of them became ill, and one person died before the Mayflower reached Plymouth in November of 1620. Less than half of the Pilgrims survived that first winter.
When two people share the same vision, they can change the world.
Take Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak for example. Their vision for home computers revolutionized the tech industry and made Apple one of the most valuable companies in the world.
Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield did the same thing with ice cream. They turned Ben and Jerry’s into one of the most popular ice cream brands in the industry.
In the world of music, think of Lennon and McCartney, Mick and Keith, or Simon and Garfunkel.
Is your marriage in a rhythm? Or in a rut?
Three ruts are common to most relationships:
Seasonal ruts are positive marital rhythms that served you in a past season of marriage but are no longer helpful, such as conversation habits or work schedules.
Inherited ruts are negative rhythms you inherited and brought with you into your marriage. This includes conflict resolution or relationship expectations.
Cultural ruts are societal norms that don’t fit your relationship.
To break out of those ruts and find something deeper, more rewarding, and more meaningful in your relationship as a married couple, find ways to share adventure together, to serve one another, and to speak life to your spouse.
Jean and I have two boys, Trent and Troy. They’re in their 20s and on a good track through life. They’re active, so we don’t see them as often as we would like, but we stay in touch almost daily and have a good time when we’re together.
Unfortunately, that experience is not true of every parent with adult children. They disagree about lifestyle choices, job choices, dating choices, or faith choices. Even loving families experience tension when young adults and their parents don’t see eye to eye.
I didn’t have good role models growing up. My dad left our family when I was five and died an alcoholic a few years later. Hank, my stepdad, walked out on my siblings and me the day of my mother’s funeral. My foster dad, Mr. Reil, brought even more chaos into my life.
By the time I became a teenager, I realized I had two paths to choose from. One led to bitterness and resentment, which would make me just like the broken father figures in my life.
My wife, Jean, and I have been married for 38 years. For most of that time I’ve had the privilege of working at, and leading, Focus on the Family. Since our ministry’s inception, we have prioritized upholding God’s design for marriage.
Given that, you’d think I’d have this marriage thing down by now. But Jean will be the first to tell you (after I humbly admit it myself) that I’m still a husband in progress, hopefully becoming all that God desires of me.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
