Daly Focus Blog
I’ve got a simple idea for improving your marriage, but it takes some courage: Ask your spouse to share two things you do in your marriage that he or she likes … and two things you can do to make your marriage better.
The first part – hearing what you do well – is easy. We all love pats on the back and being told the ways we shine. It’s the second part – what you can do better – that’ll take some courage to hear.
Critics of the Bible say it’s outdated and irrelevant to modern society. Allow me to share just one example of why that’s not true.
Genesis 25 tells the story of two brothers, Jacob and Esau. Esau, the firstborn, was entitled to his family’s inheritance, a responsibility that required strong character and wisdom. Unfortunately, he had neither. That becomes clear when Esau returns home after a long day of hunting. He’s so hungry that he begs his brother Jacob for a bowl of stew.
One of the most heartbreaking letters to Focus on the Family I’ve read was from a grown woman who recounted her parents’ divorce when she was a little girl. Her dad told her, “Your mom and I aren’t capable of being together, so I’m leaving. But I’ll always be there for you. I’ll see you on weekends. I’ll see you on your birthday.”
She never saw her dad again.
That father made a lot of promises to his daughter and never kept one.
If someone asked you this question, how would you answer?
“What if my health declines to the point that I can only survive on a breathing machine. I’m not sure that’s something I want to do, but I’m afraid to dishonor the Lord. Should I artificially prolong my life with a respirator?”
When you’re wrestling with a question as profound as whether or not life is worth living, only God – not conventional wisdom – is adequate to answer.
Did you know that nearly 40% of evangelicals believe “mercy killing” for someone who’s suffering is morally permissible?
That fact raises another question: How many Christians today understand the Bible’s perspective on suffering?
Few people have the credibility to address issues as poignant as suffering and the value of human life like Joni Eareckson Tada. Fifty years ago, she broke her neck in a diving accident and was left a quadriplegic. Since then, she’s been a tireless advocate for people with disabilities and has stood against the movement that promotes suicide for disabled and disadvantaged people.
There’s only one right answer to the question, “What do I do with a second chance?” You make the most of it.
That’s what NFL coach Mike McDaniels did. He was an assistant coach for the Houston Texans when he was fired after showing up late a second time to a 6 a.m. meeting. One minute, he was living his dream. The next, he was wondering if he’d ever get to coach in the National Football League again.
My wife and I approach recipes differently. Jean has a degree in biochemistry. She’s smart and sees life as a series of precisely calculated moves. To her, recipes are a detailed road map to be carefully followed. If the instructions call for one cup of flour, she’ll measure exactly one cup. She’ll even use a knife to scrape off the excess.
I’m more of a free spirit with recipes. I don’t see them as “a roadmap to follow” as much as “a few things to keep in mind.” I kinda, sorta measure ingredients, but not very carefully.
Here’s a tip for a great marriage: have a hearty relationship agreement.
Relationship agreements were a funny plot line in the hit television show The Big Bang Theory. The lead character is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, a brilliant physicist who is so analytical that his personality and social habits are nearly robotic. In one episode, he enters into a romantic relationship with fellow academic, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. But because Sheldon disregards human emotion in favor of logic and reason, he creates a relationship agreement – a very detailed relationship agreement.
Daniel was 13 years old when he wrote a letter to his parents that he had a “great life.” A few weeks later, he was dead.
According to his letter, Daniel’s “great life” spiraled out of control right after he started junior high. Five classmates bullied him incessantly. And when Daniel tried to defend himself, fights broke out.
Daniel wrote that he had “begged and pleaded” with his teachers and the school’s principal to intervene, but they “didn’t do ANYTHING!” The school denied any wrongdoing, but the bullying didn’t stop until, sadly, Daniel ended his own life.
One busy weekday morning, author Kay Wyma was backing out of her driveway when a big truck came barreling down the road and forced her to the shoulder. Frustrated and annoyed, she took a deep breath, slowed her heart rate, and realized that she had a choice to make: she could wallow in her anger and frustration, or she could be thankful that no one, including herself, had been injured.
She chose the latter. The moment she did, Kay felt compassion for the truck driver instead of condemnation.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
