Daly Focus Blog
The latter half of marriage ought to be a couple’s golden years, but quite often it’s dull, disengaged, and lifeless. That might be why a growing number of marriages are ending after 25 years or more.
It’s called the “graying of divorce.”
A recent survey from Bowling Green State University showed that prior to 1990 only 1 in 10 people over the age of 50 divorced. But in the years since 1990, that number has grown to 1 in 4.
Intimacy and sex are not the same thing.
That comes as a surprise to a lot of newlyweds. Most younger couples enter marriage thinking sex will be the easy part of their relationship … and feel caught off guard when it becomes one of the most complex. They don’t know going in that struggles related to sex are one of the top reasons for marital conflict.
That’s because newlyweds tend to assume they both want the same thing out of their sexual relationship.
In 1995, employees at the five-story Sampoong department store in Seoul, South Korea, noticed cracks developing on the top floor around one of the support columns. Despite warnings from civil engineers, the store’s owner refused to close the building for repairs.
It was a minor problem, he insisted.
In reality, the crack was merely a symptom of a much larger structural failure. That became evident on June 29 when the entire building collapsed, killing over 500 people and wounding nearly 1,000 more.
I’ve met a lot of couples who believe the formula for marital happiness is rooted in things like chemistry, fate, or a one-in-a-million shot that you’ll discover your soul mate.
Here’s one that’s mostly overlooked: choice.
That’s right. In the same way that personal happiness is a choice, so, too, is happiness in marriage. It may not always be an easy choice or an obvious choice, but it is something we can choose regardless of whatever obstacles may be working against us.
Men, we’re at war.
I don’t think most guys think of their role as a husband or father in those terms very often. That could be why so many guys succumb to the dangers of pornography and adulterous affairs. The enemy of our soul is ruthlessly plotting the destruction of us and our families … and a lot of us seem oblivious to it.
That’s why author and speaker Dr. Steve Farrar compares a man’s role in his home to point men in military conflict.
Author Arlene Pellicane describes the average mom’s frenzied day like this: “We wake up, and we’re Mary Poppins. ‘Let’s do this thing!’ we say. But by the time we go to bed, we’re Cruella de Vil.”
A lot of moms might describe themselves with words like “busy,” “stressed,” or “tired.”
One word you don’t often hear from moms is “happy.” Maybe that’s because, by and large, mothers have settled into the notion that busyness, work, and falling into bed exhausted are “just the way it is.”
Arlene’s discovery of what a happy mom is began with a personal encounter that illustrated to her what a happy mom isn’t.
What do you think about your marriage?
I don’t mean in vague terms, like, “It’s good,” or “We’ve had better days.” I mean, literally. What are the actual thoughts you have about your marriage?
Do you think of your spouse as someone to nurture and care for – or as someone you have to endure? Do you think of conflict as a battle to win – or as an opportunity for God to draw the two of you closer together?
What should a woman look for in a husband? What should a man look for in a wife?
Marriage is one of the biggest decisions a person can make and, yet, a lot of men and women are unprepared to answer that basic question.
Physical attraction is probably the most common attribute people consider, and it’s not unimportant. But some people never rise beyond that initial connection point. They’re fueled primarily by emotion and sexual attraction.
Did you know there are 41 million native Spanish speakers living in the United States?
That means you probably know someone whose first language – the tongue they understand at a heart level – is Spanish.
It’s because of those 41 million people (and the other 429 million native Spanish speakers around the world) that we carry Spanish-language versions of many of our key marriage and family resources.
Our latest such offering is the six-session, DVD-based curriculum “Luchando por un mejor matrimonio,” based on the popular and effective book “Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage.”
It sounds counter-intuitive, but it’s true: there really can be a purpose to fighting in marriage – if you fight well.
This coming weekend in Richmond, Virginia, upwards of 200,000 NASCAR fans will gather at the Richmond International Raceway for the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series, and millions more will watch on television.
Detailing the event’s “play by play” for FOX Sports will be Darrell Waltrip. I recently had the opportunity to spend some time with Darrell and his wife, Stevie, and I’m excited to welcome them to our program as our guests.
Darrell was one of the most successful drivers on the NASCAR circuit in the 1980s.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
